Return to the Republic…. In search of da bomb…

I went to the movies this week and watched this Persian film that was in the horror genre. Whoever asked  me what I watched, and I told them it was a scary movie, looked surprised and asked me if it was a Persian movie. Why? Censorship is not just for sex and women’s hair, it’s also for supernatural themes.

Makes sense, right? It’s against Islam to believe that there are ghosts or powers other than God. So Iranian film makers have generally stayed away from the horror genre. As a result, the few horror movies they do make are not that scary.

The plot was a woman who is being haunted by a ghost (up to this bit it is a little scary) but in the end the ghost turns out to be her husband’s mistress. So when you discover there is actually no ghost it doesn’t really leave you with anything to be scared of.

Me and my little brother Nima thought the movie was funny whereas our Iranian cousins thought it was scary. Since we’re used to seeing real horror flicks and they’re not. My cousin commented that Islam is kind to them in this regard, not letting them beleive in ghosts and the like.

Iran has the 3^rd largest oil reserves in the world (after Saudi Arabia and Iraq). Iranians have long enjoyed very cheap petrol prices. They pay around 10cents a litre. But petrol in Tehran has now become rationed. Each car receives a petrol card you swipe at the pump that entitles you to 100 litres per month. Vans receive more and taxis receive 400 litres. But when you consider that many people in Tehran use their cars as taxis (it’s not regulated like it is in Australia, anyone can use their private vehicle to make some extra money), many people are now out of a job or that extra bit of income they relied on.

I guess this is why you now see people carrying plastic canisters and asking people at the pumps if they can spare a litre or two. This act has been dubbed “petrol begging”.

Somehow though petrol stations now are more crowded than they used to be. A whole black market in petrol shares has opened up, selling rights to petrol at 4 times the price. But to buy it you have to line up at the petrol station and ask people there since no one is going to part with their card.

Many cars are converting to gas (natural gas – CNG). You have to line up for at least 1 hour at the gas station (separate from the petrol stations) and one tank gives you around 150 kms.

I thought these measures were to reduce pollution but apparently the main aim is to reduce consumption so that Iran won’t have to eventually import petrol.

 (I’ll post a photo of the queues when I get a good one!)

Dear Readers,

Yes, it’s true. I failed. After 6 years of university, never having failed anything, having a credit average, I managed to fail my last ever subject at uni. As I stared at the cold, static computer screen I could not believe my eyes. 47. Those two digits staring right back at me. 3 marks god damnit.

This was my reaction:

The irony, failing my very last subject! If any of you wish to send me flowers or other presents to cheer me up, please do.

Ok so they’re not real tears, it was very staged. It wasn’t easy to keep a straight face, see:

But I was upset so please send sympathy!

Hi everyone,

Just letting you know I’ve posted 2 slideshows – one under the post “village people” and the other in a new page (go to the tabs at the top of this page) entitled “photos”.

Enjoy

We have something in Persian culture called “tarof” – basically you are careful to be polite to everyone. However, there is a degree of frankness about certain things that would even offend the sensibilities of your average Aussie.

Comments on your appearance are part of this. It is very normal for someone to comment that “wow, you’ve gotten fat”, they may then add a “mash’allah” which is a positive exclamation which would only be used if you have gotten REALLY fat (as if it adding the word turns your sudden obesity into a positive change).

Also not considered rude is asking someone how much money they make, how much rent they pay, or how much they payed for their house/car/shoes (though saying someone is fat is still more polite than asking these questions).

Another thing that is often commented on is a person needing a nose job. This is not considered rude. It is simply a fact of life that you have a big, ugly nose (it really is for many Iranians) and that there is a solution available! More on nose jobs soon!

Well dear friends, what am I doing here?

I was disappointed to hear many of you ask me if I am here to find a husband. And of course, since I arrived, everyone here has been asking me when I’m going to get married. So I thought, just so I’d have some sort of response to give everyone, as long as I am here, and I have a fair bit of time on my hands, I may as well take the first step and learn how to cook I am happy to announce that so far I have learnt 2 new dishes and am well on my way to domestication.

As for all of you who were waiting for this day, no, I will not marry you now :p

Over the weekend (which here is just Friday, but I’m including thursday arvo too), we visited my aunts’ parents holiday house in a small village in the foothills of Mt Damavand – the tallest mountain in Iran, just North of Tehran.It’s cute little old fashioned village, with old style houses which have big gardens with all types of trees and plants. They’re all dry now but we did eat, straight from the tree, pears, walnuts and zereshk (dogberry? sorry don’t know the English name).

It was bloody freezing! Under zero the whole time we were there. We sat outside next to the fire, drinking endless cups of tea and smoking gheylyoon which is the thing in the photos that looks like a giant bong (you may know it as shishe or agile or just plain old hubbly bubbly).

On Thursday night we went for a little walk. It was a bit scary – you could easily set a horror movie there. Small little corridors surrounded by old buildings and clay and stone walls. There was also an old graveyard beyond a big hill. It was so dark that you could see thousands of stars in the sky. There were also many stray dogs… white ones. But they only come out at night and are scared of people.

On Friday morning we climbed part of the mountain… I didn’t make it to the top because my mother could not handle it… if you note in the photos the slope is crazy. My aunt said once she climbed for a few hours, much further than where we went, and she saw a family of nomads who had set up their tents there! They’re from the South of Iran and migrate to the North in the Summer.

Damavand Photos

Tehran is extremely polluted. Last time I was here I only saw brief glimpses of a blue sky a couple of times straight after it had rained. Many days were declared public holidays and schools were closed for weeks because of the extent of the pollution.

This time it is much better, I have been continuously seeing blue sky for a week now, hurrah!

Last time they had come up with this ridiculous plan to let cars with licence plates ending with an even number out one day, and those ending with an odd number out on alternate days. Well, this extremely inconvenient plan is still in force and apparently working.

I had been hearing since the begining of the year that they are getting tough on dress in Iran. Ever since the new president came along. But being back in Iran I felt that everything seemed the same. The same crazy hair styles exploding out of tiny head scarfs, the same extreme make up that you’d need a chisel to remove, the same tight overcoats that did more to accentuate curves than to cover them, etc, etc.

So you can imagine my surprise when two of my cousin’s friends who we were meeting up with today were arrested…

This morning I headed out with my cousin, also named Parisa, to celebrate her friend’s birthday. We were meeting two of her friends near their former university which is in one of the richer, trendier parts of Tehran. We were running about an hour late (normal by Iranian standards) when Parisa (the other one) received a text message from her friend informing her that they had been arrested.

We were worried at this point. Parisa called one of the girls’ mothers. She had already heard the news. We went and picked her up and drove to the police station. The vans of the police unit responsible for enforcing Islamic dress were parked outside. Parisa removed her make-up and donned a chador (a long black piece of cloth that covers from head to toe – not including face) and went in with her friend’s mother. I waited in the car.

One of her friends emerged to tell the story. One had been arrested because her pants were tucked into her ankle boots. The other because her headscarf was the type that has holes in it as it is one of those knitted ones. Others had been arrested because their overcoats were too short (above the knee). You probably don’t need me to tell you at this point that this stuff has nothing to do with Islam.

They let them go. They just needed someone to come in and give them “proper” clothes. The girls were saying that everyone in the station was laughing and telling jokes. They all found it so ridiculous. They were calling each other “big criminals”. The girl whose birthday it was was taken in with a box full of sweets. She joked about distributing them to everyone to celebrate being set free. The other girl was joking that she hopes to get asylum in America now that she has been a political prisoner. But they now have police records, though I’m not sure that there is any real charge. They got fingerprinted and photographed – just like in gaol photos!

The rest of the day Parisa and I were paranoid about being caught aswell. The fact is that there is no real law. If they want to take you in they will pick on something. When we were shopping later on in the afternoon we heard some yelling. It was a girl being arrested for the same thing. We fled the shopping arcade!

It was a bit of an adventure for sure. But just plain stupid. People mostly think that they are cracking down on dress in order to distract everyone from the real problems with the government and the running of the country (youth unemployment and inflation are just ridiculous). Another theory goes that they sell the files they establish on these people to international police (they love conspiracy theories here!).